i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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