belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
