ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
