I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
