Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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