I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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