Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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