You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
