Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
