Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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