I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize