my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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