i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
