i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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