I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
