whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
