We're facebook friends in real life
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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