I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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