I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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