How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
