Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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