I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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