The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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