Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
