just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
