im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize