just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
