I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
