I skipped work to stalk him.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
