I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
