I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Terrible idea I love it
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
