I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
