I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
