you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
