Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
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so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
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Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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