Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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