I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
another moral hangover. fuck.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
