wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just gift wrapped bread.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
