is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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