the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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