A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
