I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
