It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
