i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
