Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
