We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
