Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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