If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
