I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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