Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
