K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
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I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize