You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
