I must be too annoying 4 u.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
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no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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