She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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