i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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