honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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