her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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